Factors in a Successful Marriage

J. Carl Laney
What are the ingredients of a successful and lasting marriage? Just as the right
ingredients in your favorite dessert is the key to a taste dish, so having the right
ingredients is essential to a successful marriage. Here are a few of the factors that will
make a marriage strong and lasting.  

1.  The couple has gotten to know each other well before their marriage.

2.  Both come from stable homes. Counseling may help overcome the influence of an
unstable background.

3.  The couple knows and likes their future in-laws. They are looking forward to being
a part of their spouse’s family.

4.  The couple has a mutual physical attraction, but is committed to saving sex for

5.  Both have many common likes, dislikes and interests. The partners enjoy each
others company and have friends and family they enjoy together.

6.  They share similar feelings about earning, saving and spending money.

7.  They have similar ideas and feelings about wanting children and how they should
be raised.

8.  Each has a good sense of humor. They have the capacity to laugh at themselves
and each other.

9.  Neither expects perfection in the marital partner and is willing to overlook minor
dislikes and personal issues for the sake of peace and harmony in the marriage.

10.  Both understand that happy and successful marriages are the result of long term
commitment and much hard work.  They recognize the fallacy that romanticism and
feelings of love sustain a marriage.

11.  They have similar intellectual ability and educational background.

12.  They share a common faith and religious commitment.  There are no large gaps in
their moral values, life goals and spiritual commitments.

13.  Each has a strong sense of personal responsibility and is willing to do their part in
supporting and sustaining their marriage and family.

14.  Each partner is willing to practice the art of meaningful communication.

15.  Each has the capacity and the willingness to forgive.  Once an issue has been
resolved, they will not bring it up again.

16.  Neither feels that marriage has deprived him or her of a career, freedom or fun.

17.  There is sacrificial commitment, genuine love, and deep concern for each other.

18.  Both are flexible and have the capacity to accept situations that are less than

19.  They attend the same church and pray together.  They do not play phony
religious games, but have a personal, sincere love for God.

20.  Each has a good understanding of the marriage relationship as God designed it,
and is willing to make a definite commitment to supporting and preserving their
marriage union.